A selection from the many rules meetings that I kicked off.

Started from uncertainty

From 'mess' to 'message'...

 "How can I get out of this? Who can I ask to speak in my place in front of this group? Should I just say that I am sick? After all, I have a lot of intestinal problems."

These were just some of the things that went through my head on April 2, 2015 in Dubai. I had to speak in front of a group of 22 professional martial artists and their trainers, a total of about 100 people. "Had to?" you might think. Yes, had to.

My name is Sebastiën van Dusschoten. Married to a wonderful woman and father of a sweet, beautiful daughter. In 2015, I was still working for a company that organizes kickboxing events worldwide and was the market leader at the time.

Kickboxing matches are divided into weight classes, and the day before each event there is an official weigh-in to check that all participants are 'on weight'. This is to prevent an unequal fight. After the weigh-in, the athletes have to go to the doctor for a final medical check-up and then they have to attend their least favorite part of the entire week: the 'rules meeting', where they are explained what is and is not allowed in the ring and locker room.

Part of the rules meeting is that someone on behalf of the organization tells all teams (a team usually consists of the fighter plus 3 coaches/caregivers) when and where they have to be present, what is expected of them, etc. The message is actually "Be on time and cooperate", but then in more and friendlier words.

WHAT...A...DIFFERENCE!

I have overcome the thoughts with which this story started, and I can tell you: it is such a good feeling! Sure, if you have the time and the inclination, I cordially invite you to read the rest of my story on this page, but everyone is busy-busy-busy these days, so the short message is: Yes, I can teach you too. Yes, I WANT to teach you too. Whether I WILL teach you is up to you. Will you take the step to discover with me how to go from fear to healthy competition tension? Or would you rather read on to see if my story and motivation appeal to you?

 >>> YES, I AM NOW TAKING THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS CONFIDENT PRESENTATION! <<

A few days before that fateful April 2nd, it became clear that I had to take on the part of the rules meeting from the organization.
The nerves ran through my whole body when I imagined that I had to stand there in front of such a group! And the worst thing is that all those people did not want to be there at that moment!

Imagine that you, as an athlete, have barely eaten or drunk in the days leading up to the weigh-in in order to get within the right weight class; then you only want two things after an official has determined that your weight is OK: eat and drink, and CERTAINLY NOT listen to this bald guy telling you what you should and shouldn't do.

To make a long story short: in the end I survived the talk. Because that's what it felt like, like surviving.

And then? Then it became clear that this was expected of me for every event from now on. That's when I decided: "If I have to do this on average once a month, I'm going to have to find a way to conquer this fear and nerves."

That was the starting signal for a long journey. A search for ways to overcome these nerves, gain self-confidence and convert the negative feelings into positive feelings.

THE SEARCH BECAME A DISCOVERY

Reading, listening, learning, watching. Books, podcasts, training courses, webinars, video material. I got insights from everywhere. My journey in martial arts started as an 8-year-old boy with karate, heavily inspired by the legendary Bruce Lee. I also used one of his principles for all the insights I gained in my quest to overcome the nerves: “Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own”.

TWO JOURNEYS AT THE SAME TIME

In addition to the search for ways to overcome my presentation stress, I had also been delving into non-verbal communication for a while. The starting point was the TV series 'Lie To Me', in which the main character knows exactly when people are lying. That was cool! Can you really learn that?? I now know that it works quite differently. You can pick up signals of comfort or discomfort and ask further questions from there, but there is no 'Pinocchio effect' to see if someone is lying.

But... it did open my interest in what you could do with non-verbal communication, and it is still cool!

GOLDEN COMBINATION

The insights into the mindset behind public speaking and the insights into non-verbal communication turned out to be a great combination to go on stage with a MUCH better feeling! Wow, what a difference this was!

Every time after that it was a piece of cake to go on stage. At least, it was still exciting, but now nicely exciting, and a walk in the park compared to that first time in Dubai. Did the audience suddenly like being in the room? No, that did not change. My message, in combination with the timing, was unfortunately still the least fun to hear, but it was necessary.

Anyway, I learned to stand on a stage in front of perhaps the most difficult audience you can have.

AND NOW YOU ARE ONE OF MANY TRAINERS/COACHES?

If you are wondering this, the short and honest answer is “Yes”.

Since July 2024, I have been working with great pleasure as a Sales Specialist at the electric performance car brand Polestar.

Before that, I worked for almost three years at an international company that designs, develops, produces and sells medical instruments. I started as a Field Operations Coordinator, and later I became a Team Leader within this department. Before that job came my way, I was unemployed, because of all the misery that the Covid pandemic had also caused in the events industry.

During my period of unemployment, I suddenly had time that I didn't have before. Time that I spent on a lot of personal development and especially to dive EVEN deeper into the world of public speaking. What I especially wanted? To help other people! Preferably people who are standing for a presentation with shaking knees, stomach cramps, sweaty hands and a dry mouth; those feelings that I also had. I started writing a business plan to start my own business as a trainer/coach - yes, the umpteenth.

WHEN YOU CAN'T SAY GOODBYE

As an unemployed person, you naturally have to keep applying for jobs, and that's how my current job came my way. A completely new company in a completely new industry; that took quite a bit of energy and so my business plan stood still for a while…

After a few months of employment, I walked down the stairs, on my way to the exit after an office day. There I got talking to a colleague who gives training courses within the company. I mentioned that I had been involved in 'public speaking' until I joined the company and the colleague said “Great! I'm going to introduce you to other colleagues in my team, because we want to launch a Public Speaking Workshop next year.”

That's how I got involved in the development of this workshop, and eventually I trained the person who eventually gives the workshop - which is still part of the internal offer - in a number of intensive sessions.

That tasted like more!

THIS SUBJECT IS TOO MUCH FUN!

I have noticed that I cannot let go of this subject. Mentally I am still so busy with it, and the urge to use my knowledge and experience to make other lives a bit more fun, beautiful, nicer, easier and/or better is much too great to do nothing with it anymore.

So here we are. Boost Your Speech is a fact, a company, and has a website on which I would like to THANK YOU here on the spot if you have come this far in reading this page.

If my story spoke to you and you want to work with me and you also want to become your speaking self, please contact me for a free exploratory conversation. Perhaps you still have questions for me. Know that I have many questions for you! Questions through which I hope to understand what your challenges and goals are, so that together we can walk the path towards better, more confident and more convincing public presentations and speaking.

See you soon!

Yours sincerely,

Sebastiën, your speaking jeweler